building the power of survivors to effect change

I was able to exit prostitution and rebuild my life, and with that my education became a tool. I was recognized for my tenacity and my strength and have been able now to be an asset to my community and to my people.

When I look back now I see that prostitutuion lured and consumed those of us who were already marginalised in society. If you were poor, if you were disadvantaged, if you had come from a broken home or had vulnerabilities connected to prior cycles of abuse, especially sexual abuse, prostitution was there waiting for you. Prostitution is a trap, and it’s not a coincidence that all over the world it ensnares those who are already struggling to survive.

Prostitution is the systematic and institutionalized form of Non State Torture and violence primarily against women and children. In it’s extreme, it is a form of femicide involving homicide, rape, torture, pornography, violent assaults and the systematic targeting of marginalized persons, but leaves no stone unturned as all societies, and all persons are impacted by the organized crime that prostitution is.

In many cases we talk about trafficking and we differentiate it from prostitution; there is a linguistic battle around this erroneous distiction. But there is a reality that no one can hide: men who pay for sex do not recognise any difference in this regard. They do not care to know anything about the woman for whom they pay, for them they are all “whores” – and they justify their violations with that charge, and they use it to strip us of our rights. Both victims of prostitution and victims of trafficking are raped by the same men who pay for sex.

Many people ask me, how did I get into prostitution, was I “trafficked” or was I a willing participant? What many don’t understand is – however we entered – what the act of prostitution does to us; how it slowly strips us of any semblance of ourselves, as we try to sell part of our bodies, while keeping our soul intact. Prostitution preys on the most vulnerable; it takes us places we never intended to go, all driven by those who feel entitled to pay for our bodies.

Remembering friend’s I have lost along the way, and taking a glance at all the violence, rape and inhumane activities, I just can’t help but recognize my luck to alive today.

When New Zealand passed full decriminalization, things changed in unexpected ways and I came to understand that the myths of legal protection, autonomy, increased choice and greater community acceptance were unfounded.. The myth of health being better was proved false in less than 6 months of the law reform. Women were kissing and risking herpes, doing oral sex without condoms with the risk of throat warts, doing rougher and riskier practices just to get the jobs.. I dealt with punters changing expectations. I had no choice but to fight against this model ever spreading to another country.

After experiencing prostitution in most of its forms, from escorting to the streets, each time my body was bought, whether in a car or in a 5-star hotel, the degradation and shame I felt was the same. The violence and abuse was the same. I don’t believe we should live in a society where women’s bodies are for sale and prostituted promoted as ‘sex work.

It might surprise you, but it can happen to anyone. No you’re not exempt. I wasn’t.